Singles in the church dread it, but eventually pastors will bring up the “gift of singleness” when doing a sermon on marriage. However, what I would like pastors to do is to define what they mean by “gift of singleness”.
1) Sometimes when a pastor says someone has the “gift of singleness,” they mean that person has a very low (or nonexistent) desire for marriage and a low (or nonexistent) sex drive. These people are capable of living their whole lives without a romantic opposite-sexed partner and do special work for the Kingdom because they don’t have these strong desires to marry and have sex. I don’t believe the claim that everyone called to singleness lacks a sex drive, but this is what many pastors I listened to seem to claim. (some also seem to obligate you to get married if you have the desire, but I won’t get into that.)
2) Sometimes by “gift of singleness,” they simply mean the state that you’re in. Are you single? Then you have the gift of singleness. God has you in that state right now for good purposes, just as He might have someone else be married for good purposes.
When pastors or any person giving a talk on this talk about the “gift of singleness”, I’d like them to clearly define what they mean, because that might make things more understandable.
For example, a person might stress out because he might have the gift of singleness! “Oh no! I hope I don’t have that gift! Please, Lord, don’t let me have that gift! I want to be married!” this person might say. Well, if by “gift of singleness” we’re talking about (1), then it should be obvious whether he has the gift or not! If he wants to marry and have sex, then he doesn’t have it! Duh! If we’re talking about (2), then he has it if he’s single, and he doesn’t have it if he’s not single. Simple as that. It should be obvious there too. It says nothing about it being a permanent state.